Release of Liability
Preliminary Warning: There are significant elements of risk in attending dinners (referred to hereafter as 'the activity') organized by hosts (hereafter, 'second parties) at which unrelated guests ('third parties') are in attendance.
Although we take reasonable care to provide you with potable liquids, palatable gustibles, and third parties screened for moderate social skills, this activity is not without risk. In fact, eliminating all risks would expose you to the risk of destroying the unique character of the activity, which would also require you to sign a release. While we do not wish to frighten you or reduce your enthusiasm for the activity, we would prefer that to bearing these risks ourselves.
Acknowledgment of Risks: I acknowledge that participation in the activity includes exposure to risks that include but are not restricted to the following: second-rate food, indifferent wine, petty intellects, constant interruptions, persistent failure to grasp the point under discussion, inability to stick to any topic whatever for more than five seconds, verbal harrassment, long, perhaps unbroken, stretches of tedium, poor jokes, refusal to listen, patronization, the accidental disclosure of embarrassing personal information, and the risk of making a sorry fool of oneself. I understand that by signing this form I run the risk of waiving valuable rights. (Please see the release form for this release form, over.)
Express Assumption of Risk and Responsibility: In recognition of the inherent risks of participating in the activity, I confirm that I am physically and mentally capable of participating in the activity. I confirm that I participate of my own free will, that I make such confirmations willingly, and that my confirmations of those confirmations are made voluntarily, etc. I assume full responsibility for personal injury, psychic distress, related expenses, loss of personal property, and injuries to my amour propre. I agree to follow posted rules, the instructions of the dinner supervisor, and participate in fire drills, if required. I recognize that you, the party of the second part, might find it necessary to refuse or terminate the participation of any person you judge to be incapable of meeting the requirements for and of participation in the activity. I accept your right to take such actions for any reason, including jealousy and pique.
Authorization: I hereby authorize any therapy deemed necessary in consequence of trauma incurred while participating in the activity, including post-trauma trauma, ancillary trauma, recovered trauma, or microtrauma. I either have appropriate insurance or in its absence agree to pay all costs and/or medical services as may be incurred. I agree that any film or photographs of me/us, as participants, become your property and may be posted on the internet.
Release: In consideration or services or property provided, I, for myself, personal representatives, and assigns, do hereby release Fred Hapgood and Susan Heideman and their principals, directors, officers, agents, employees, and volunteers, and each and every land owner, municipal and/or governmental agency upon whose property the activity is conducted, from all liability and waive any claim for damage arising from any cause whatsoever.